I effing hate committee members that treat me like I'm THEIR personal assistant. Seriously...you stopped by the office to have me print documents for you and mail some envelopes??? You tell me your printer is out of ink? Well go buy some. No, you were too busy telling me how you were improving your golf game. Yeah, I guess that is eating up the budget for your printer ink.

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Dear bossy little co-worker:

You do not get to bitch at me about how I go about doing a thankless task that nobody else wanted to do. If you want it done YOUR way then you do it.

Oh, that's right. You didn't want to do it. Well, I guess we'll be doing it my way.

P.S. It' not exactly rocket science.

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Oh Friday! About time you showed up! How I love you when the clock turns 5 so I can run like hell!

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FORK! Put a fork in me cause I am done!

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This place is an effing circus! I need to vamp up my job search cuz idk how much longer I can take here. And my co-workers, oh man, they are in a worse situation then I am. It drives me crazy to see such BS they have to deal with everyday.

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I made a general accusation about part of my lunch missing today only to realize I was the dumbkumf that left it in my desk drawer. Oops. My bad.

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I hate it when people ignore my e-mails. Do I really have to harass you three times to get a response?

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The office whiner just found another thing to complain about: my typing. Apparently it's too loud and too fast for her to concentrate.

I suggest ear plugs and a ball gag: the first to keep things quiet, and the other to shut her up.

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Dear HR manager,

I'd like to send your husband a memo suggesting he lay you this weekend. Do you have a position of preference? Or should I simply indicate gentleman's choice?

So, would he prefer e-mail or a fax?

Sincerely,
a disgruntled minion

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No, it's not enough that I do ALL the meeting preparation from food & beverages, to AV set up and of course attending to every minute f*cking detail. No, I have to CLEAN UP after your breakfast and lunch service. Do you people think I'm a waitress? Can't we all pitch in and just bring our stuff to the kitchen? Oh and let's not forget you need emergency copies of your meeting notes because you *forgot* them.

I just love a room full of irresponsible, unhelpful professionals. Makes me so proud that people like *you* (and I'm pointing the finger at all of you) are running the show.

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